I am no longer so shy or modest about recognizing the impact I have on the people around me. It's been a long road getting here--but I know that I am a gifted healer. I bring so much love, peace, joy, and healing to the people I work with. 

Everyone deserves space and support for their healing. And I am a walking, living, breathing example of the healing power of a loving and supportive community.

In 2020, I got so sick. Went into organ failure, my liver was shot, I had fevers for over six weeks, all my lymph nodes were swollen and painful, systemic rashes, horrible aches and pains. I was in and out of the hospital during the height of the pandemic when nobody could visit me, and I had to brave it on my own. 

After I got out of the hospital, I was fired from my job as a pediatric nurse. And I had to face the toughest identity crisis I've experienced to date... Who would I be if I wasn't living to take care of everyone else? How could I accept admitting my weaknesses and **gulp** asking for help? Would anybody still love me if I had nothing to offer them? Who would want to stick around if I share the dark, the sad, the fearful with them? 

I experienced firsthand the process of shedding my layers. Detoxing from all the identities I had adopted over the years. The things I clung onto to help me feel needed and lovable. 

Along with those emotional changes--I had the equally real physical experiences of giving up caffeine, alcohol, gluten, dairy, soy, eggs. I've sworn off dieting and any am firmly against doing anything for the sole purpose of "losing weight". I am very much in the camp of doing things because they help me gain health, gain strength and vibrancy.  I've shifted away from relationships where I needed to sacrifice my voice to be accepted. I spend more time in relationships where we encourage each other to speak truly and courageously from our hearts. Where breathing gets easier everytime we feel more known, more seen, and more loved. 

I used to wish I could hide more easily in life--this is true. In 5th grade, my teacher told me she saw true leadership qualities in me and wanted to help develop me as a leader. I cried and told her I was too shy, and that I preferred to hide. She offered me kindness and patience, and helped me grow in the ways I didn't think I could. She steered me through the paths that felt so overwhelmingly scary--I tried avoiding them all over the place until she held my hand and said, "I've got you, we're going to do this together."

Over my life, I've come into many situations that felt too unface-able. Times where I didn't see any way I could possibly make it through, or find my way back to a vibrant happy life. And over and over again, I kept finding the exact tour guides I've needed to lead me with kindness, love, the right amount of sass and humor, gentleness and strength. 

Now here I find myself, still healing--and in better shape than I ever dreamed possible for myself. And now I have such deep roots, such profound faith in our inherent power to hold each other, to lead each other through anything. I'm not scared of anyone's stories. Anyone's feelings. I want you to bring them to me. There is no dark too dark, no fucked up too fucked up. There is space for you to feel loved and held through whatever you're going through. 

I love you so much. And you deserve to know it.